Because You Weren’t Born to Just Pay Bills and Die
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.”
– Howard Thurman
We live in a culture obsessed with passion—“follow your passion,” “find your passion,” “turn your passion into a business.” Yet, for many people, the idea of finding your passion feels more confusing than empowering.
What if I don’t know what I’m passionate about?
What if I’ve tried things and nothing sticks?
What if I don’t have a passion?
If you’ve ever felt stuck, aimless, or uncertain about what you’re meant to do—this guide is for you.
1. What Is Passion—and What It Isn’t
Let’s clear up some common myths.
Passion is not:
- Always exciting or fun
- Instantly obvious
- A singular, lifelong “calling”
- The same as talent
- Something someone hands to you
Passion is:
- Deep interest + emotional energy
- The thing you naturally return to
- What makes you feel most alive
- A blend of curiosity, service, joy, and commitment
Passion isn’t found—it’s formed through action, reflection, and alignment.
2. Why Most People Struggle to Find Their Passion
You’re not alone if you’re unsure. Most people never receive a framework for discovering what they love.
Here’s why:
- We’re taught to pursue safety, not soul-alignment.
- Passion is often buried beneath people-pleasing and fear.
- We confuse excitement with ease—real passion involves effort.
- We expect clarity without trying things.
Finding your passion isn’t a lightning bolt—it’s a process. It’s less like falling in love, and more like building trust over time.
3. The Psychology of Passion: What Science Says
Researchers distinguish between two types of passion:
- Harmonious Passion – Aligned with your values, integrated into your life, intrinsically rewarding.
- Obsessive Passion – Based on ego, identity, or fear; can lead to burnout.
A 2011 study from the Journal of Personality found that people with harmonious passions experienced higher well-being, productivity, and life satisfaction.
Key takeaway: The goal is not to chase hype—but to cultivate deep, sustainable joy through what you love.
4. 7 Signs You Haven’t Found It Yet
- You dread waking up on Mondays.
- You envy people doing what they love.
- You feel “numb” in your work or relationships.
- You rely on distractions to feel good.
- You struggle to describe what excites you.
- You feel stuck between too many interests—or none at all.
- You’re waiting for permission to begin.
If these resonate, it doesn’t mean you’re lost—it means you’re ready.
5. 10 Strategies to Discover What Truly Moves You
🔹 1. Look Back: Your Childhood Curiosities
Before the world told you who to be, what were you drawn to?
- What did you play or create for fun?
- What topics or toys captured your full attention?
- What activities made you lose track of time?
Action: Journal about your earliest loves. The past leaves clues.
🔹 2. Audit Your Energy, Not Just Your Time
Energy is a compass. Passion often shows up where you feel most alive, not just most skilled.
Ask yourself:
- When do I feel most energized in my week?
- What drains me quickly, even if I’m “good” at it?
Action: Track your daily energy for one week. Look for patterns.
🔹 3. Identify Your Obsessions and Rants
What topics do you talk about passionately?
What do you teach, share, or rant about when no one asks?
Your inner fire often reveals itself in:
- What you defend or debate
- What you research endlessly
- What you’d do for free, just to help someone else
Action: List 5 things you talk about the most with genuine emotion.
🔹 4. Start Before You’re Ready
You can’t discover passion in theory.
You find it in motion.
Test-drive ideas. Try new things. Volunteer. Create. Speak. Write.
You don’t need a perfect plan. You need a starting point.
Action: Choose one interest and explore it for 30 days—then reflect.
🔹 5. Listen to Your Envy
Envy is often a hidden map.
Who do you admire? Why?
It may reveal a repressed desire to:
- Create
- Lead
- Travel
- Teach
- Perform
- Help
- Build
Action: Write down 3 people you envy. What part of their life reflects something you want?
🔹 6. Use the “5 Whys” Method
Ask: “Why do I love this?”
Then ask again. And again.
This uncovers your core values, which are the fuel behind lasting passion.
Example:
I love painting.
Why? It helps me express emotions.
Why? Because I often bottle them up.
Why? Because I was taught not to show them.
Why? Because emotions felt unsafe.
Why? Because I want to heal—and help others do the same.
Boom. Now your passion has meaning.
🔹 7. Notice Where You Feel Flow
Flow is that state of total immersion where time vanishes and joy appears.
- Where does that happen most often in your life?
- What activities make you lose yourself in a good way?
Action: Track your “flow moments” for two weeks.
🔹 8. Ask Trusted Friends What Lights You Up
Sometimes others can see what you can’t.
Ask:
- “When have you seen me most alive?”
- “What do you think I’m naturally gifted at?”
- “What do I talk about that lights me up?”
Action: Text 3 people and ask these questions today.
🔹 9. Create a Life Menu
Passion emerges when you give yourself choices.
Write categories like:
- Learn
- Create
- Move
- Help
- Build
- ConnectThen list activities you want to try under each.
Action: Choose one per week to test.
🔹 10. Let Go of the Pressure to Monetize It
Not every passion is meant to be a business.
Some are meant to be your joy.
Or your service.
Or your sanity.
Don’t kill your passion by burdening it too soon.
Let it breathe. Let it grow.
6. Journal Prompts to Clarify Your Inner Calling
(we created a journal here that you can download and print that will help you begin your journal journey.)
- What am I endlessly curious about?
- When do I feel most like myself?
- What problem would I love to solve in the world?
- What’s a dream I’ve buried because I was afraid to fail?
- If I could wave a magic wand, what would my daily life look like?
7. The Role of Fear, Resistance, and Failure
Every pursuit of passion meets resistance. Expect it.
You will feel:
- Insecure
- Impostor syndrome
- Doubt from others
- Failure, even when trying hard
This doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.
It means you’re on the real one.
Fear is a sign you’re near something sacred.
8. How to Turn Your Passion Into Purpose
Passion is about what lights you up.
Purpose is about how you use that fire to light the way for others.
The sweet spot?
Passion + Service = Purpose
Ask:
- Who needs what I’ve overcome or learned?
- How can I use this gift to help, heal, teach, inspire, or support?
You don’t have to go viral. You just have to go authentic.
9. You Were Meant to Burn Bright
You weren’t born to drift.
You weren’t made to play small.
You are not “too late” or “too lost.”
Your passion might be quiet. Or wild. Or still unfolding.
But it’s there—waiting for you to make a move.
So try.
Explore.
Fail.
Start again.
Say yes to the whisper.
Because one day, you’ll look back and realize—
You didn’t just find your passion.
You built it with your own two hands.
An additional post you may find helpful!